Night driving is beautiful and enjoyable.
This afternoon, Thea asked me if I would like to come visit her in the evening. I was anxious for this to happen, but also quite nervous. After all, a lot happened two years ago, and I didn’t expect her father and grandfather to be thrilled with the prospect of her and I being reunited. But it turned out that my worries were for naught. Both of them were understanding and, perhaps, have seen some of the results of my hard work in ensuring that everything was squared away with Thea after we came home.
She had incurred debts whilst we were in Chicago–debts ultimately taken on my behalf. So, I made it my goal to repay everything. Thea was forgiving and offered to accept only a fraction of the amount, but I made it clear I would accept nothing less than to repay the full balance. The figure was set near the five thousand dollar mark, and within the year I had repaid her. This may have gone some way to rectifying the impression that was initially formed, and the long-term nature of our friendship over this entire time has probably eased the way for her family, as well.
Masquerade, Paper Faces on Parade
So it was that when I was at Thea’s house, her grandfather was pleasant and affable, and we all talked frankly and openly. How unlike the experiences of the past few years, where I as being endlessly scrutinised, dissected, and evaluated! How unlike this conversation was to those I had in another place; no longer was I being subjected to some sort of interrogation or power-game masquerading as conversation. In seconds, all of my prior concerns were put to rest completely. This is how it is meant to be; how sad that I had been in a situation so amiss that I had completely forgotten the pleasures of genuine and reciprocal friendliness–no masks; no facades; no elaborate disguises; no stratagems or traps. In short, what a relief!
It was therefore decided that I should come out every Wednesday, so that I will be able to see Thea twice per week instead of once. She will visit me on weekends, and I will visit her on Wednesday. The more I see of her, the better, and now she will not have to put off seeing me due to the constraints of her job. (During the week, she is not available until 18:30, and has to be in bed around 22:00. The drive is roughly an hour, which means that she would have to drive two hours to see me for two hours. Thus it is better if I drive, and double the time we have together.)
Reflecting upon this on the way home, I felt myself consumed with a strange mixture of both relief and pity. Relief for the comfort, the expectation, the dependability, and the affection which tonight’s meeting occasioned and promised; pity for those who, as arbiters of the other sort of situation, seem to carry on unaware that there is something greater than an elaborate facade of politic behaviour, behind which lies a naked grasp for power, the manifest exertions of a will which seeks to dominate, not befriend.
